Age is not important in love! The first love is experienced in the 4 - 5 years period, which is a period in which the social relations of children with their peers have increased considerably! The first love, as well as the first love pain is tasted in this period. Clinical Psychologist Açelya Şahin from DBE Institute of Behavioral Sciences It tells the ones who are curious about the love and pain of the children of 4-5 years old.
: What are the general characteristics of 4-5 year old children?
Psychologist Açelya Şahin: After the end of the 2-year-old crisis, parents whose children reach the age of 3 have the opportunity to rest for a while. However, with age 4, this harmonious and balanced mood ceases. The parents should be prepared for a tiring period. The self-sufficient 4-year-old child, who can act independently, shows great progress in social relations. However, it may occasionally miss the measure in both verbal and nonverbal communication. He may not be able to play with his friends for a long time, he often quarrels. Another change that surprised parents during this period was that the child began to say unused curses in the family. He loves to use these profanities with his elders because of his interest. It does more often than not, especially if you ask them not to. For example, when you say, söyleme Don't tell your brother that you're eating ice cream, he's sick and can't eat, he's dying, olun make sure that the first thing he says when he sees your brother is he's eating ice cream.
5 years is a period in which harmony and balance prevail. It is not possible to realize that the child who is 5 years old starts to use his body in a more controlled way. An increase in behaviors in accordance with the rules of society is observed. It becomes more successful in group games and fights are reduced. He begins to help parents in small household chores (such as setting up a table). She likes listening to stories and also telling stories by looking at pictures of books.
: What are the differences in love in childhood and similarities with adult love?
Psychologist Açelya Şahin: Love is unique and unique because of the different meanings that individuals impose on themselves. Some define love as sharing, some pain, some touch or glance. For adults, sexuality can often be the most important part of this situation, where children's love and adult love begin to separate from each other. The love of a 4-5 year old child is pure, sudden and temporary. You can see the first day that day and dream of marriage the next day with a child who is only 2 hours together. In fact, these dreams of marriage, they are not a concentration of emotion rather than modeling and imitating the older people are the biggest sign.
: What should be the attitude of the parent who says the child is in love with someone?
Psychologist Açelya Şahin: The last thing to do here is to condemn the child for this behavior, to say “How much shame, do not say elsewhere mak, punish, make fun of, and prevent him from seeing the other child he is in love with. When children say that they're in love, it means they trust the person they say. If the reactions listed above are shown, the child may feel that his / her trust is wasted and not understood. If the reinforcers continue to increase, this will pave the way for a more established trust problem and not to share special feelings and thoughts with the family at an advanced age. Therefore, it should be remembered that the love experienced at these ages is quite different from the love between adolescents or adults, and is far from the sexual contact theme that the families are most afraid of and it should be accepted. This should be viewed as a good opportunity to allow your child to trust you and to receive the message that he / she can talk to you without being judged.
It also proves that your child is convinced that it is impossible for her child to marry her parents and that her sexual identity is beginning to fit. It shows that he broke away from his parents and dived into the social life even more deeply. I mean, it's better if your child falls in love.
: Why is 4-5 years of age when love is used for the child?
Psychologist Açelya Şahin: This age range is a period in which the social relations of children with their peers have increased considerably. They start kindergarten and kindergarten and interact with other children in the gardens of their homes. Therefore, they have the opportunity to observe other individuals. They observe, model, imitate people of all ages. They want to be like the adults they model. “When I grow up, I'm going to dye my hair blonde like my aunt. My car will be red and I will be my boyfriend, and we'll take my car and go to the movies! ”
Falling in love and having a relationship with someone are the scenes they often come across in movies, TV series and real life. When they are involved in social life and become interested in many fields, love and male-female relations are the most important ones. Therefore, they also add words of love to their vocabulary. When they use these words, their use decreases or increases in direct proportion with the attention, interest and positive reinforcers shown.
: What should be the approach to a child suffering from love?
Psychologist Açelya Şahin: If your child is suffering from love, do not underestimate his feelings. Reactions such as “You're smaller, love pain, go play with your toys dir are blows to the child's sense of trust. Tell them that you understand how hurt you may be, that every person may have this kind of emotion at some point in their life, but that they will learn to deal with these feelings over time. Because of his cognitive abilities, although he cannot fully perceive what you are saying, he will see that you are with him and that you are trying to find a solution to your problem together without judging.