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I hear it every, single, solitary day now, multiple times. The annoying end-of-pregnancy question that seriously makes me want to ATTACK the person who asked it (sorry for the violence; blame pregnancy hormones).
I'll be waddle/shuffling down the sidewalk and a neighbor pulls up in her car.
I see a mom of a friend from my daughter's class.
"No baby yet?"
My handyman shows up.
"So I'm not a new uncle today?"
ARGHARHHHH! That's me screaming and raising my (swollen) hands to the sky in sheer desperation. Why do people insist on torturing me by inquiring about the obvious? YES! I. Am. Still. Huge. I. Pregnant. Thank you for noticing!
Because, otherwise, there's no way I'd ONLY be thinking about how uncomfortable I am, and how I can barely make it through another day like this. If you didn't bring up my clear, ongoing pregnancy status, obviously I'd NEVER remember how I've waited 9 LONG MONTHS for this baby to arrive. My anticipation for his birth wouldn't be at a 200 on a scale of 1 to 10. It's fine. It's cool. NO WORRIES!!!
Deep breath. I'm fine.
So, go ahead. Keep asking me if I'm "still pregnant." Quiz away as to why you see me dragging my enormous tummy down my driveway to get my mail, sans baby. It's not like you'll know when I've actually given birth. It's not like you'll SEE the actual baby with me, and have your answer.
OH WAIT. It is exactly like that.
Phew. I think I'm done now. Rant over.
P.S. No need to wonder if I'm in labor either, random woman in Target. WHY would I be in Target, in labor? I'm just shopping. Not bent over in the hand soap aisle breathing through raging contractions. I guess you thought you were being funny. But apparently I gave up having a sense of humor right around the time I stopped being able to see my bikini line when I'm shaving.
OK. Rant really over. For now...
Photos: Melissa Willets, iStock
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