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Every parent has difficulty in limiting the child. They contradict the right time and the right method. So how to put a limit on the child? The answer to this question Ekol Psychological and Pedagogical Counseling Center Founder Pedagogue Özlem ÖZDEN TUNCA 'You can find the article.
For most young children, but also for those older than three years, it is very difficult to understand the rules of daily basic needs, rather than understanding the rationale behind the rules of adults. When they ask why any rule should be followed; they are not interested in detail, information content, persuasive attitude. At that moment they try to determine if the given rule is almost sharp enough. They are looking to measure the sharpness of the question, “Do I really have to do that?“ When our attitude is always like ne When should I put a limit on the child? Iz our “no” will increase and it will start to lose its effect over time. We will also put an obstacle in front of learning by discovering, which is one of the basic elements of learning in very young children. For your young child, regardless of age, if you want to limit and explain any behavior you do not want, it is more appropriate to do so without breaking the rule or following the suggested results. Because if you do this while you are doing this unwanted behavior, you will allow the child to test the limits and send the message that the limits are negotiable.
Children who grow up in homes where borders are not determined effectively start to enter social environments; they face rejections, conflicts and negative reactions. Providing children with the exact messages they need to establish successful relationships with the outside world and ensuring their implementation will eliminate such problems.
? Children need clear messages about our expectations in order to show acceptable behavior. “Limits define behavior we approve.” As long as our limits are clear and consistent, it will be easy for children to understand and monitor. But when the boundaries are not clear, children may be out of the way and face the possibility of something dangerous.
? Boundaries define relationships: Children constantly observe their relationship with adults throughout the day and determine the degree of their power and control. In this way, they learn where they stand in their relationships with other people through their experiences.
? Borders help children to research. From a very young age, children are constantly conducting experiments and discoveries and gathering information about the environment. They are good observers, imitating almost any behavior they observe, recording cause-and-effect relationships, and based on the information they gather, creating certain beliefs about expected behaviors and rules in their work.
? Limits are the measure of growth. We will see that our child grows as much as the child can realize the restrictions and rules we put into the child. The boundaries show the parents what the children are ready for and what they are not ready for.
? Limits provide security. Children need their parents to be “parents”. They expect us to be determined to set limits for them and to provide them with the limits they will be safe with.
Children grow, develop, change, and become more prepared to take on more privilege, freedom and responsibility. Children need opportunities to explore their own and the outside world, to uncover and apply their talents and to develop their independence. The task of the parents is to provide them with the limits to support this normal development process without interfering. That is, our boundary must be precise enough to guide their discoveries, but flexible enough to allow them to develop.
Contact Özlem directly
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Ekol Psychological and Pedagogical Counseling Center